Q1. A beautiful survey about these results is the following:
McCarthy-Papadopoulos, Simplicial actions of mapping class groups, in Handbook of Teichmüller theory Volume III
Q2. Luo's proof of the rigidity of the curve complex relies on Grothendieck 's reconstruction principle:
F. Luo, Automorphisms of the curve complex https://arxiv.org/abs/math/9904020
Q3. Brendle and Margalit announced their result more than one year ago but no proof has appeared so far on ArXiv, so I'll give my answer referring only to published (and refereed) literature.
The first counterexample of Ivanov's conjecture was found by McCarthy-Papadopoulos in the paper
McCarthy-Papadopoulos, Automorphisms of the complex of domains, https://arxiv.org/pdf/math/0606592
Given a compact orientable surface $S$ its complex of domains $D(S)$ is a complex whose vertices are isotopy classes of subsurfaces that can be realized disjointly on the surface. The mapping class group $MCG(S)$ acts on it simplicially. If the surface has at least two boundary components, its action is not rigid because there are automorphisms that can exchange a biperipheral pair of pants and the annulus corresponding to its unique essential boundary curve. McCarthy-Papadopoulos actually prove that
$$Aut D(S) \cong MCG(S) \rtimes B$$ where $B$ is the subgroup generated by these exchanges. They also point out the following condition, that is very useful to construct other counterexamples of Ivanov's metaconjecture as the one Andy was talking about:
If $K$ is a simplicial complex the following are equivalent:
1) there exists an automorphism $\phi:K\to K$ that exchanges two non-adiacent vertices $v$ and $w$ fixing everything else;
2) $v$ and $w$ have the same link in $K$, that is $\mathrm{Lk}(v, K) = \mathrm{Lk}(w,K)$ as subsets of $K$.
In other words, if the complex is "too rich" then it is not rigid anymore.